I rant a lot, I do throw bad stuff a lot ... I want to express everything I feel.. although you literally hate me ... in the end you'll regret it someday ... you'll be experiencing such emotions I have right now.. frown emoticon sorry for the term. I admit that I throw tantrums.. many people looked over me and there is a meaning behind.. they feel pity.. cautious.. annoyed... pissed off or what. The people loves me .. I suffered those kind of incidents and that's common to a special child like me.. let's accept the fact then.
Because of your strong hatred on me.. I still go on through my professionalism as a performer and I wont be affected by your suspicious acts, I wont stop, I wont give up. Someday You and I will have a strong friendly relationship unless we negotiate and that's the reason why I cry after the chorale rehearsal a day ago because I needed somebody and that's you .. even if my father became the witness of your friend's actions too although I still do nothing.. but at the back of my mind, it hurts a lot that someone never got my attention... although it's more offensive.. so you try to give me such heartaches.. unlike other girls, you're very welcome to them then what about me? I really want to reconcile with you.. that's my only and only simple request.
I'll support your "diamond superstar" career. You're way older than me, although I'm very jealous that you're one of the stars in a play. You're way better that James Maslow or Logan Henderson (in a French accent) You're known already but I do not know why you're being not approachable at all.. You ignoring me and I'll return your ignorance back even more to you.. or I wont stop bothering you unless you're saying something to me.
Come on then, let's get back to the past that we greet each other a "hello" and "goodbye" and all I really need is very stabled working relationship as friends by giving me regards and asking me if I could jam with you.. and I am more proud of receiving such angel call not the demon call that you gave me. If I were you, ask God and confess everything that you did recently. Ask forgiveness to those people you've hurt before and change your style of socialization, instead of having a shortcoming (especially to me) let's share some beautiful stories and analyze the climax like you did usually to your very group of friends and let's move on.
For now, I'm not feeling good at all due to lack of social awareness (peer pressure is one). Just understand please, I never experience socializing in groups. Sorry if I say this honestly, I have to be transparent once and for all. Give me the time to practice socializing with you once and for all.. that's the opportunity ... I really need an answer and advises (not in an aggressive way) .. I'm sorry for those who will be affected .. you have to be aware also .. not ignoring and playing people's honest feelings ...
I feel down, depressed, nothing without the group of my friends in the ensemble.. all I really need is not just practicing a single hymn or a double or a lot, I really need a pure friendship since we were more schoolmates studying in the same school sharing the same dream together not making bad and cornish talks .. because there is no such thing as "never please everyone" unless you're doing it formally with conviction. Don't leave me behind the bunker or in the backyard. I wish you're saying that I'm not invisible to me but calling me your cheerful angel in the bunch.
Speaking of 2nd sem, since many comments said that I have to continue my studies, I do fight for it since my mom changed my mind after many of my friends prayed that I have to continue studying.. and that motivated me to make friends more and more in school, it's kinda stressful and depressing sometimes because of many paperworks and projects. I choose to have a 9-unit curriculum instead of curriculum assigned by the dean.. I do think that some of the GE subjects are required by CHED and I have to accomplish them without failing much. If you would ask me on how are my academics.. it's just fine but I receive 2 Fs this semester, I honestly can't do the task of submitting paper works because it was not my natural forte. I am more on special projects I'm sorry if I never informed my profs. It was a blessing that I passed Rudiments of Music 1 while Ear Training/Dictation 3 failed due to lack of training. This semester, I'll recover from the pains I have last sem. This time I'll learn consistency over time is more important.
I wish this pain I have will easily gone.. and gone.. forgive me for I'm posting such long story... but I know some of you posted some status updated like this right?
Hope you're having a good day ahead of you.Just open your eyes to the truth and the truth will set you free.
#DramaticDay
No comments:
Post a Comment